Dark Robio said:

I'll use my hand. I don't want to knock your head off after all.  Besides if I whipped out my unit Leo would start drooling so much his neighbors downstairs would start hassling their landlord about a leak in the ceiling. The rest of you would probably silently cry and possibly take your own lives.

Besides I'm far more interested in learning which of you guys have a 6 year old girl inside of you.

Best.movie.ever

Ninja vs Alien

Review:

Masanori Mimoto stars as Yamata, the toughest and most stylishly coiffed ninja in an extremely well-styled clan sent to investigate a mysterious fireball that crashes into the woods outside their village. As you might suspect from the title, its contents are a bunch of grumpy, ill-mannered aliens. No points here for originality: their design is shamelessly stolen from the Giger Alien, with just a dash of a dolphin thrown in to keep the copyright lawyers at bay. So it's Flipper the Xenomorph versus an army of sexy katana wielders with the fate of the world (or at least the fate of the generic forest where the entire movie is set) at stake.

Admittedly, the effects look cheaper than cheap, with laughably rubbery dismembered limbs and alien blood that looks like Kraft Fat Free Thousand Island Dressing straight out of the bottle. But the cast appears impressively unaware they're in a schlocky movie, and they attack their roles with a commitment that would have impressed Lee Strasberg. Similarly unfazed by his budgetary restraints, director Seiji Chiba squeezes every last ounce of creativity out of his premise. Unlike the tedious repetition of most stock-and-trade American monster movies, "Alien Vs. Ninja" doesn't just stick to 90 minutes of creatures striking from the shadows. Be prepared for a wide array of thrills: jump scares, karate fights, alien splatter, and even some creatively choreographed wirework.

One could question the inclusion of Donpei Tsuchihira as an annoyingly bumbling ninja -- would you cast Jerry Lewis in Michael Biehn's part in "Aliens"? -- but it does at least give us a reason to root for the aliens in what would otherwise be a fairly one-sided contest. "Alien vs. Ninja" isn't great art, but it's pretty entertaining trash. C'mon, who doesn't want to see an alien who shoots smaller aliens out of his nose deflect a hail of bullets with a ninja sword?

Motherfucking sold

robio said:

A legion of Slave Leia's to the rescue!!!

Heaven.

phantom_leo said:

Speaking of wrinkled old men... WHERE THE HELL HAS HAMSTER BEEN FOR THE LAST THREE DAYS?!

Did someone put him in a microwave?!



...and bugsie...!

...and ASPRO for 6 days...?!!

They're all DEAD! I JUST KNOW IT!

!

RAVEN! BUGSIE!! ASSSSSPPPPRRROOOOOOOOOOOOO ! ! !

!!

Iga_Bobovic said:

Where the hell is GG?!

THEY GOT GG TOO...?!  

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YAAAAAAAAAY ! ! !